Recent Posts

You can stay anywhere in Bangkok, it's only a few hours drive to Hua Hin. If you'd like to stay at the hotel on the suburb of Bangkok connected to the way to Hua Hin, check out The Royal City Hotel.

Good hotels in Hua Hin are quite expensive compare to other beach cities, because it's popular destination among Hi-end market on weekend and holidays. If you don't mind staying elsewhere, there's a Cha-am beach hotel near Hua Hin called The Regent Chalet. It's good value for its price due to good feedback from guests.

Enjoy your trip

Just stay in Bangkok for one night,then going to Hua Hin by car. I also require the cheap hotel in Hua Hin . We will be there next month.

Amazing spokeswoman! (Francesca is a stand-up comedienne with mild cerebral palsy, who acted in Grange Hill). Very cheered to hear such a funny lady making important environmental issues  clear! Well done.

Hi people,

I currently live in the Croydon/ Sutton borough and would very much like to get involved with the green party in my local area.

Do I have to become a member to be involved, or where can I volunteer if that option is available?

It seems very strange to me that there are no discussions on this forum, so close to important elections. Am I missing something here, is everyone posting somewhere else? I have tried to find a forum about Green issues and this is the only one that I have found.

I have always been interested in Green issues, but also about the issue of prostitution and how to make women safer. When I found out that the Green Party wants to adopt the New Zealand model, it made me think this is the party for me. This model doesn't force prostitution underground but allows women to work together in a flat and keep themselves safe.

Now I find out that Caroline Lucas wants to adopt the Swedish model. She talks about 'objectification' which is a radical feminist concept that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. What is the opinion of others in the Green movement about this issue? What is the official policy of the Green Party?

Did anyone hear Julie Bindel slagging off the green movement on BBC
Radio 4 a couple of weeks ago? She was saying that poor people aren't
helped by the green movement. She thinks that it is difficult for poor
people to live their lives according to green principles.

She said some things that are simply incorrect. She said that you need
to have a car to recycle. Not true. I live in a council block of flats
in south London and we have recycling bins. I don't know of anyone in
my block of flats who has a car, so I think we have got a head start
on middle-class people when it comes to our effect on the environment.
People where I live don't tend to go abroad.

The big mistake that Julie Bindel always makes is in thinking that
poor people are time-poor as well as cash-poor. Pensioners, people on
Incapacity Benefit or Job Seekers' Allowance are cash-poor but time
rich. I don't buy frozen processed food and I don't have a microwave.
I have always had a healthy diet although I have been on benefits.
Bindel is nutritionally ignorant.

When she thinks of poor people she thinks of a family where both
parents are working long hours on a minimum wage. There are people
like that of course but I wouldn't say they would be that poor, not
compared to pensioners etc. Anyone who is time-poor is going to have
difficulty living according to green principles, doesn't matter if
they are rich or (relatively) poor.

Her type of feminism, somewhat old-fashioned in today's world, thinks
that a career is essential for women as well as men. The green
movement is not saying that women should be at home, but it does say
that a career is not necessarily the most important thing in life for
men or women, and a good work-life balance is something people should
think about.

Maybe what Bindel really hates about the green party is that they
favour decriminalisation of prostitution, as do I. She seems to write
more about this subject than anything else. She wants to restrict
prostitution even more than at present. That will just drive it
further underground and harm the very people that she claims she wants
to help. Just as with food and nutrition, she writes about things that
she knows nothing about.

[Emission inventory vs actual monitored levels:]

Here is a letter I wrote to the European Environment Commissioner:
            



Dear Sir,
                                            Re: Hiding the health costs of the “Car Economy”,
                                                                   DEFRA’S multiple structures of deceit.

I write to you as a private citizen, a retired Consultant Child Psychiatrist, trained long ago, who has been observing the UK air pollution scene only since the spring of 2007.I have been shocked and appalled at the way that public health priorities, which would have been primary in 1968,say,have been subordinated to political economic ends. I understand that you may be thinking of prosecuting the UK government (I am sorry not to know the correct legal “grammar”) and I am writing to urge you to continue. The reasons follow, they form an intricate and subtle web, they did not arise by accident, I urge you to tear that web apart.

Emission inventory vs actual monitored levels:
Presentations often talk of “falling emissions” when they mean the values of the computer modelled emissions inventory are falling. This has become embarrassing as the real time measures are steady, not to say rising. The measure of road kilometres affected pretends that some of the emissions are not gaseous, and extend over considerable distances, let alone seek to minimise the spread of particulates measured in international studies. Not all roads are canyons. There is no presentation of the populations subtended by these kilometres, nor their social deprivation scores. The policy adds insult to the injury already sustained by the polluted conditions within the “ghettoes” of working class housing (chemical plants, steel works, incinerators etc etc.).The recent VCM corrections to the previous TEOM particulate measurements will also provide a temporary artefact, apparently lowering readings of identical pollution.
CMAQ 50% particulate peak error:
Defra have chosen, as its pollution modelling tool, MM5-CMAQ.In recent European research this has been shown to undercount peak particulate levels by 50%, when combined with the MADE/SORGAM particulate model. WRF/CHEM, with the mosaic particulate model outperforms it, as do real-time measurements. Perhaps the commission could ensure that the relevant corrections to it have been made, otherwise it will present a far better picture of pollution than actually exists.
COMEAP  6% vs 19-22%
Despite numerous protests COMEAP continues to say that the excess mortality attributed to particulates is 6%.This flies in the face of modern research findings which show that chronicity of exposure adds to the total effect and mortality figures are actually much higher. Because its research strategy is to include only those effects for which there is a strong evidence base for quantification, it systematically underestimates the overall effects of air pollution on health. When used in cost-benefit analyses, it is anti-precautionary. The secretary of this body has been heard to state that treasury pressure forced the current situation, as the cost benefit analyses wouldn’t work with higher mortality figures. This also has consequences for the next section.
Banding /graphic presentations
The current bandings used by COMEAP,DEFRA and the LAQN were first introduced in 1998.I am sure you are aware of the explosion of air pollution work since then. They are now so out of date as to be dysfunctional and dishonest, and bear very little relation to the adverse health effects discovered since. Their green, amber, red and purple colours seek to psychologically reassure people at dangerous air pollution levels. They are used to form the basis of public health warnings. They also provide a structure for undercounting mortality…..as increasing mortality starts well into the green bands of all pollutants.
Climate change prediction failure:.
There should be a real concern about Ozone as an ever increasing source of pollution mortality.As peak summer temperatures rise ,with days over 30C,and park trees adding to vehicle and industry sources of VOCS,local ozone levels will rise.This summer,if forecasts prove to be correct,will provide such a killing zone.Keeping children and old people off the streets by giving accurate pollutiion forecasts well in advance, does not seem to be a priority.
Airtext trigger levels
“Public” warnings are triggered at the moderate (amber) levels of the bands above. This is far too late, and leaves many vulnerable people exposed to dangerous air. The access to these warnings is very restricted, so that it is hardly public at all. The whole system is truly against the spirit of the EU legislation. A simple remedy of these being relayed to all schools automatically has been refused. Some counties have made schools the centres for the roll out for this service, London has not.
Undercounting the affected population
The resident population of the centre of London is tiny by comparison to the numbers of commuters that flood into the city each day. They truly ride into the valley of death, as the City Of London’s own pollution monitors (some have recently been closed at very bad figures) show areas are at least as polluted as Marylebone Road, which is used as the common standard of awfulness. All this leads to an undercounting of morbidity and mortality. The existence of a population near London (which commutes) whose health is compromised will confound statistical analyses, disguising the London traffic pollution island effect because comparator populations will have higher than average rates of morbidity and mortality.
Mayor Boris and Cycling campaigns
In his first year the new London mayor has taken decisions which profoundly affect the quality of the air Londoners will breathe. This is not the Government’s responsibility (see next section) but will affect London’s health, nonetheless.

1.   Western congestion zone extension cancelled
2.   Black cab bi-annual particulate checks cancelled
3.   LEZ 3 "postponed"
4.   4X4 and large engined car congestion zone increase cancelled
5.   London Waste Board "packed" and incineration encouraged
6.   "Chip fat "power stations ! and combined heat and power burning wood!
7.   Fig-leaf numbers of hydrogen or hybrid buses...1.7% of the fleet...
 
 
What is more his disastrous roll out of cycling is deeply inconsistent with current pollution levels. Cyclists breathe 10-20 times the amount of air a walker or car driver does. That air is not only already very bad generally, but is likely to be worse in the traffic stream they negotiate. This will damage their lungs if they are healthy and exacerbate any underlying health problems, if they are not. Isn't this rather like the WW I strategy of "muffling" machine gun fire with platoons of cyclists in the drive to "gain" the territory of modal transport shift!
 
Political structures of irresponsibility
The political structures of central  government, local authorities and London itself have been used to so spread responsibility for change  as to ensure that none occurs.
It is rather like a dysfunctional family, where rules are vaguely uttered by distant parents, and are soon drowned out by children squabbling over the pocket money.
Mexico City child neuropathology
Professor Lilian Calderon-Garciduenas and her group now have a ten year track record of researching the neurotoxic effects of traffic pollution on the brains of children and young people. This has reached the stage of provoking editorials in two leading international journals. This research stream seems not to be recognised in Europe, and I would urge you to devote some resources to further investigation. I attach a balanced conservative review whose last line should be noted, "need to further investigate the suspicion that our urban air is neurotoxic for our children".
 
I enclose some further recent references:
 
7.              Air pollution, cognitive deficits and brain abnormalities: a pilot study with children and dogs.
Calderón-Garcidueñas L, Mora-Tiscareño A, Ontiveros E, Gómez-Garza G, Barragán-Mejía G, Broadway J, Chapman S, Valencia-Salazar G, Jewells V, Maronpot RR, Henríquez-Roldán C, Pérez-Guillé B, Torres-Jardón R, Herrit L, Brooks D, Osnaya-Brizuela N, Monroy ME, González-Maciel A, Reynoso-Robles R, Villarreal-Calderon R, Solt AC, Engle RW.
Brain Cogn. 2008 Nov;68(2):117-27. Epub 2008 Jun 11.


8.                  The neurological effects of air pollution in children.
Sunyer J.
Eur Respir J. 2008 Sep;32(3):535-7. No abstract available.


9.                  Immunotoxicity and Environment: Immunodysregulation and Systemic Inflammation in Children.
 
Calderon-Garciduenas L, Macias-Parra M, Hoffmann HJ, Valencia-Salazar G, Henriquez-Roldan C, Osnaya N, Camacho-Del-Monte O, Barragan-Mejia G, Villarreal-Calderon R, Romero L, Granada-Macias M, Torres-Jardon R, Medina-Cortina H, Maronpot RR.
Toxicol Pathol. 2009 Jan 26. [Epub ahead of print]
 
 

Incinerators-in-disguise
The government has a national policy of incinerator building, hidden piece-meal, local authority by local authority, with new names and new mantras. London will soon have six, if people get their way. The particulate burden they will add will be very considerable.


I started on my journey, two years ago because my professional life had been devoted to the well-being of children. The findings of permanent lung damage from California and brain damage in Mexico City shocked me into paying attention.. What my country was doing about air pollution appalled me.



            Yours sincerely,


                                 

[In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:]

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Paris hotel lift:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of defferent sex, for instance, men and women, live together on one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a Leipzig lift:

Do not enter lift backwards and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel lift:

To move the cabin puch button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a hotel in Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11am daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:

The flattering of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When a passenger of foot heace in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, then if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

In a Japanese hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursdays.

In a Tokyo hotel:

Is forbidden to steal towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.

In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today- no ice cream.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Budapest zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have suitable food give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:

Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:

Not to perambulate the corridors during the hours of respose in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:

Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:

Dresses for street walking.

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for ladies with nuts.

From the Soviet Weekly:

There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Zurich hotel:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Bangkok temple:

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in a bar.

In an Acapulco hotel:

The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

English well speaking.
Here speeching American.

From a letter in response to an inquiry about accommodation:

Dear Madam: I am honourable to accept your impossible request. Unhappy it is, I have not bedroom with bath. A bathroom with bed I have. I can though give you a washing, with pleasure, in a most clean spring with no one to see. I insist that you will like this.

From a European holiday brochure:

Having freshly taken over the propriety of this notorious house, I am wishful that you remove to me your esteemed costume. Standing among savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a french window in every bedroom, affording delightful prospects. I give personal look to the interior wants of each guest. Here, you shall be well fed-up and agreeably drunk. Our charges for weekly visitors are scarcely creditable. Peculiar arrangements for gross parties, our motto is ever serve you right!

A sign over an Osaka, Japan pet store:

Fondle dogs

How a sewage treatment plant was marked on a Tokyo map:

Dirty Water Punishment Place

From a response to an enquiry about accommodation:

I am amazingly diverted by your entreaty for a room. I can offer you a commodious chamber with balcony imminent to the romantic gorge, and I hope that you want to drop in. A vivacious stream washes my doorsteps, so do not concern yourself that I am not too good in bath, I am superb in bed.

From a tourist brochure:

In the close village you can buy jolly memorials for when you pass away.

Sign in a Hong Kong supermarket:

For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

From a story in an East African newspaper:

A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

Sign in a Vienna hotel:

In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.

Sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo, when MacArthur was considering a run for president:

We pray for MacArthur's erection

Instructions on a Japanese medicine bottle:

Adults: 1 tablet 3 times a day until passing away

After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together. Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix up at the boarding gate and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain.

Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was having a heat wave and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail-but, due to his haste, he made an error in the address. His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had gone to his reward only the day before.

When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead.
Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S.: Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here.

Since the ancient Greeks and the birth of tragedy, or indeed eariler, we have asked ourselves the question, "Why do bad things happen?" Most philosophy tries to answer this question in one way or another.
This list offers a somewhat irreverent guide to competing philosophies from the perspective that shit does indeed happen...

I compiled the list years ago mostly from the net - plus I added/edited a few of my own.
If anyone has any suggestions or additions, please let me know.

Catholicism:
Shit happens and you deserve it.
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.

Charismatic Catholicism:
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

Protestantism:
Shit happens because you do not work hard enough.
Shit happens and it is someone else’s fault.
If shit happens, praise the lord for it!

Episcopalianism:
If shit happens, hold a procession.

Presbyterianism:
This shit was bound to happen.

Methodist:
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

Lutheranism:
Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Have faith that shit will happen.
If shit happens, don't talk about it.

Anglicanism:
It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.

Quakers:
Let us not fight over this shit.

Calvinism:
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Baptist:
You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.
We'll wash the shit right off you.

Southern Baptist:
Shit will happen. Praise the Lord!

Congregationalism:
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another

Unitarianism:
Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
What is this Shit?
We affirm the right for shit to happen.
Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
It's not the shit that matters. It's the process.
Come let us reason together about this shit.

Pentecostalism:
In Jesus' name, heal this shit!

Orthodox:
St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

Greek Orthodox:
Shit happens, usually in threes.

Puritanism:
Shit can happen all day as long as you don't call it that.

EST:
I am at cause that shit will not happen.
You're responsible for all the shit that happens.

Fundamentalism:
There's no shit in the Bible.
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Shit happens, but don't publish it.

Mormonism:
This shit will happen again.
If shit happens, shun it.
Let the shit multiply.
Excrement happens. (you can't say 'shit' in Utah)
Hey, there's more shit happening over here!
God sent us this shit.
Shit happens again & again & again ...

Islam:
Shit happens and it is all the fault of those American swine.
If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
We don't take any shit

Sunni Islam:
If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will and you'd better submit!
Shiite happens.

Shi'ite Islam:
WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIT!
If shit happens, take a hostage.

Nation of Islam:
Don't take no shit!

Iraqi Baathist:
Oh shit!

Sikhism:
Leave our shit alone.

Hinduism:
Shit happens and it has happened before.
This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
This shit happening IS you.
This shit happened before…………

Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?

Buddhism:
Shit happens, but how do you know it is really shit?
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
Shit will happen again to you next time.
Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.

Zen:
What is the sound of shit happening?
Shit happens, but if it happens in the forest does it make a sound?

Taoism:
If you can shit, it isn't shit.
Shit happens, so flow with it.

Rastafarianism:
If shit happens, roll it and smoke it.

Confucianism:
Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Confucius say, "If shit has to happen, let it happen PROPERLY."

Atheism:
No shit.
I don't believe this Shit.
Shit just happens and that's all there is to it.
Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead.
It looks and smells like shit, so I'm damned if I'm going to taste it.

Agnosticism:
Farts happen.
It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether it's shit or not.
What is this shit?!
I don't know shit!
You can't prove any of this shit!

Voodoo:
Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
Let's stick some pins in this shit!
This shit's gonna get you!

Amish:
Shit is good for the soil.
This modern shit is worthless.

Native Americans:
Shit is sacred when it happens.

Shintoism:
You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
Sushi happens.

Stoicism:
This shit is its own reward.
This shit is good for me.

Mysticism:
This is really weird shit.
Just experience shit happening.

Twelve Step:
Shit happens one day at a time and not until you admit you are powerless to resist it

Creationism:
... And the Lord said "Let there be shit" ... and there came piles of it. After six days of this shit, He rested.

Creation Science:
Shit has only been happening since October 23rd 4004 B.C.

Discordianism:
Shit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.

Kibology:
What's shit, and where can I get some?

Satanism:
We hope bad shit happens to all of you.
We will make your shit happen.
SNEPPAH TIHS.

Witchcraft:
Mix this shit together and it will happen!

Zoroastrianism:
Shit happens half the time.
Christianity stole half its shit from us.

Marxism:
This shit is going to hit the fan.

Seventh Day Adventist:
No shit on Saturdays.

Existentialism:
Shit is, therefore it happens.
Absurd shit.

Gnosticism:
I know why shit happens but I won't tell you.

Nihilism:
Who gives a shit?

Deconstruction:
Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.

Christian Science:
If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist
When shit happens, don't call a doctor; pray.
Shit doesn't happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in it.
Our shit will take care of itself.
Shit happens in your mind.

Moonies:
Only happy shit really happens.

Scientology:
Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard.
Faeces occurs.
All this happens to be shit.
If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.
This shit happened before, but we can clean it up if you pay us enough.

Hare Krishna:
Shit happens, Rama Rama.
Shit happens Shit happens Shit happens Shit happens…….
Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
Please this flower and buy our shit.

Hedonism:
There's nothing like good shit happening.

New Age:
Affirm Shit does not happen to me.
That's not shit, it's feldspar.
This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
I create my own shit.
If shit happens, honour it and share it.
Sheeeeeeeeeeit!
Were all part of the same shit.
For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.

Jehovah’s Witness:
Let us in, and we will tell you why shit happens.
No shit happens until Armaggedon.
There is only a limited amount of good shit.
Knock Knock, "Shit Happens."
Here, we insist you take our shit.
Shit happens door to door.
Open the door and I'll show you what shit is.
Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.

Secular Humanism:
Shit evolves.

Darwinism:
Survival of the shittiest.
This shit was once food.

Wicca:
Shit happens if you will it to happen.
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
The Goddess makes shit happen.

Sufism:
The wise man never notices shit happening.

Solipsism:
Shit happens because I wish it.

Televangelism:
Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening...

Asceticism:
If shit happens, renounce it.

Cartesianism:
Shit happens to me, therefore I exist.

Platonism:
There is ideal shit happening somewhere.

Epicureanism:
Let's party while shit doesn't happen.

Cynicism:
Of course shit happens.

Occultism:
Shit materializes from other planes of existence.

Divorcism:
She's full of shit!
He's fooling around with some worthless piece of shit.

Terrorism:
Shit will happen unless you do as I say.

Pollyanism:
It's so nice that shit happens!

Behaviourism:
You are conditioned to having shit happen.

Freudianism:
If shit happens, it's your mother's fault.

Parapsychology:
Shit happens without material causes.

Surrealism:
Purple shit happens near melting clocks.

Cubism:
If shit happens, you won't recognize it.

Cultural Relativism:
Shit happens everywhere differently.

Optimism:
If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it.

Pessimism:
If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody.

Rajhneesh:
Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.

Shamanism:
Whoaa...Holy Shit!

Sureshism:
You are all pieces of shit.

Lubavitcher Hassidism:
Blessed are they upon whom He sends His most holy Shit to happen.

Mithraism:
Bull shit happens.

Tabloid Sensationalism:
Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone.

Secular Humanism:
Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit.

Scientific Reductionism:
If shit happens, find out what kind exactly.

Scientific Obscurantism:
Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases.

Bureaucracy:
I don't care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms.

Feminism:
Women demand to have shit happen.
This shit happened before, and WE won't clean it up!

Ecology:
If organic shit happens, it's OK.

Capitalism:
Let's profit from shit happening.

Socialism:
If shit happens, let's distribute it equally.

Patriotism:
Our shit is better than your shit.

Conservatism:
They don't make even shit happen like they used to.

Liberalism:
Shit shouldn't happen tomorrow.

Classical Physics:
Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around.

Quantum Physics:
Shit happens but you can't say both where and when.
Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons.

Holistic Physics:
If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once.

Microcomputing:
If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version of Windows ™.

Computer Science:
All shit can in principle happen on a Turing Machine.

Applied Mathematics:
The probability of shit happening approaches unity.

Engineering:
When shit happens, paint over.

Medicine:
If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning.

Economics:
Shit happens because there's a great demand for it.

Politics:
If shit happens, make a deal with it.

Diplomacy:
Let's pretend shit doesn't happen.